ANDROGYNE-ELECT

This one's for my friend, you know who you are, who loves the androgyne, who needs to shave more than her husband does. I'm not averse to smoothness, however I like a little scratch where I itch. Those lips though--we know what that's all about--purple!

"On Wednesday, Barack Obama addressed Bill Richardson's shaven beard, stating "It was a mistake for him to get rid of it. I thought that whole Western rugged look was really working for him....we're deeply disappointed with the loss."

But perhaps the disappointment was more personal than the president-elect let on. In a September 20, 2006 article in The Hill about how voters prefer politicians to be clean-shaven, Obama told reporter Betsy Rothstein "I can't grow facial hair... I get whiskers."

Thanks to Huffingtonpost.com

LET THE V(P)ETTING BEGIN

I'm so outraged by this new New Yorker cover. It's extremely controversial. Obviously the beagle is a terrorist.

MUTT LIKE ME

The want a shelter dog. Oh, I love the Obamas all over again. Never stopped, since I started.

Breaking news! Laurence O'Donnell notes on the Rachel Maddow show the possibility that the Obama White House will be a two dog household.

BIG WHOOP-'BAMA

As noted earlier, Tuesday night certainly wasn't exciting or nail-biting or creating any sort of queasy stomachs/rumbling bowels/hair pulling/face clawing impulses-- state by state, Barack racked up what he needed to win, and it was pretty clear by the time Pennsylvania was added to his column that the election was over. I even started a post on Peep Hole calling the election, but I didn't want to jinx it.

When California closed the polls and the election was called immediately, I didn't feel anything I thought I would-- I didn't cry, scream, jump in the air, hug the person next to me. At some point in the evening a full glass of wine slipped out of my hand and spilled on the carpet and floor and wall and down the hall, but I think that was nature's way of saying, "okay, you've had enough."

When I went out later to walk the dogs, I heard the people screaming in the street, saw the helicopters hovering above with their high-powered light beams trained into the crowd, was passed by goddam jamborees of bicycle riders whistling their fool heads off, but all I felt was the natural feeling-- "get away from my dogs, you drunken louts." It's always fun navigating a pitbull and a chihuahua-pug (chipugua to you) through a throng of shrieking, stumbling girls.

Maybe I felt nothing because, as my Peep Hole partner often reminds, me, I'm not a flesh-and-blood person. Yes, that's true, but I really did feel something 8 years ago, during the Bush-Gore election. Or maybe it was the company, or just the circumstances? While I was cooking dinner, the convection oven caught on fire, and I was out in the hall with the roof door open trying to fan out the smoke when a big whoop! came from the living room. When I finally got back to the tv, I was told Gore had just won Florida. Holy crap, the night was over and we hadn't even eaten dinner. Now that was exciting, and the rest of the evening, and then month, there was nailbiting, hair-pulling dread.

I guess it's the prospect of losing, especially when you know your candidate is so far superior to the other. It drove me crazy when people, even the media, noted there was little difference between Bush and Gore; that people bought Bushes' compassionate Conservative crap, even though as Governor in Texas, he was rated last or next to last of all 50 states in child care, people with insurance, health care, education-- does anyone doubt there were differences now?

It just seemed, this time, the wind was at the Democrats back. Polls can be wrong, and I knew too many people who knew somebody who was otherwise reasonable, but refused to vote for a Black man. Or thought the Democrats were socialists-- as though the recent bailout, supported by Bush and McCain, wasn't the biggest socialist program since Medicare in the 60's. Would reason finally prevail?

And when reason finally prevails, is it really something to celebrate about, especially when you're celebrating that the American people aren't idiots? No big whoop. Of course they're not-- at least not this time.

POST MORTEM

Okay, so it was a pretty dull night, not a lot of nail biting, and it's sad to see the whole thing over, But I was happy with the result-- yes, I came to love Obama! Michelle too, but not all of us here at PeepHole can say the same. Some bitches are so threatened.

But-- what that hell was she wearing last night? Black dress with red splotch and shiny cummerbund? And what about Jill? Someone should have told her the event called for black dress-- she stuck out like a giant sore lime.

Sad to see those other bitches, Cindy and Sarah, relegated to the scrap heap. Cindy will no doubt to continue to scare small children even outside the Hallowe'en season, and Sarah will run off with Joe the Plumber so he can help lay that giant pipe across Alaska.

CALL IT

BOO

Women are scary! That's why you see so many frat boys dressed as women at Hallowe'en. I'm surprised we don't see more guys dressed up as vaginas, bloody tampons, or positive pregnancy tests. Hallowe'en is all about the taboo shit, and if you can be it, you dispel it's power. That's why you see so many frat boys wearing big afros too. Oooo, scary!

Well fellas, whatever happens next Tuesday, the blacks or the women are taking over. According to the voters of rural Pennsylvania and Ohio, if Obama is elected president, we'll all be forced to become black. So guys, get your afro wigs out, because after Tuesday you'll be shot if you're not a bro'.

Alternatively, we could have Sarah Palin as the holder of the nuclear codes. OOOhhh, eeekkk, aaahhhh!

REDISTRIBUTING HENDRIK

Does anyone else feel the tingling when they read Hendrik Hertzberg in The New Yorker? I'm just spreading his wealth around.

Hendrik Hertzberg in his Comment in the New Yorker this week:

During the 2000 campaign, on MSNBC’s “Hardball,” a young woman asked him why her father, a doctor, should be “penalized” by being “in a huge tax bracket.” McCain replied that “wealthy people can afford more” and that “the very wealthy, because they can afford tax lawyers and all kinds of loopholes, really don’t pay nearly as much as you think they do.” The exchange continued:

YOUNG WOMAN: Are we getting closer and closer to, like, socialism and stuff?. . .
MCCAIN: Here’s what I really believe: That when you reach a certain level of comfort, there’s nothing wrong with paying somewhat more.

For her part, Sarah Palin, who has lately taken to calling Obama “Barack the Wealth Spreader,” seems to be something of a suspect character herself. She is, at the very least, a fellow-traveller of what might be called socialism with an Alaskan face. The state that she governs has no income or sales tax. Instead, it imposes huge levies on the oil companies that lease its oil fields. The proceeds finance the government’s activities and enable it to issue a four-figure annual check to every man, woman, and child in the state. One of the reasons Palin has been a popular governor is that she added an extra twelve hundred dollars to this year’s check, bringing the per-person total to $3,269. A few weeks before she was nominated for Vice-President, she told a visiting journalist—Philip Gourevitch, of this magazine—that “we’re set up, unlike other states in the union, where it’s collectively Alaskans own the resources. So we share in the wealth when the development of these resources occurs.” Perhaps there is some meaningful distinction between spreading the wealth and sharing it (“collectively,” no less), but finding it would require the analytic skills of Karl the Marxist.

BARACK FOR PRESIDENT

Okay, so we're still waiting for Angelina's endorsement, but we got the New York Times, so I think we can safely say that Peephole supports Barack Obama for President. Additionally, we support Sarah Palin's view in Peephole, I mean People Magazine, that she:

can always go home again and just be Mom and be perfectly happy and fulfilled with the blessings that God has given [them]. And with a great marriage and great parents and siblings and children, [she] could today go home and just be Mom.

Everybody wins!

We apologize to those in states like Ohio, Texas, and Florida that have early voting. If you voted before you saw our endorsement, and mistakenly voted for the wrong candidate, please go to your local Acorn registration center where you can sign up to vote again. You should probably sign up to vote twice, so as to cancel out your earlier vote for McCain.

We must admit there is one regret in casting our lot with Obama-- remember how dull the campaign became when Hillary dropped from the race? Just imagine the dreariness of 8 years of happiness, prosperity, and well-wishes from the other nations of the world; 8 years without Cindy McCain and her hair pulled back so tight her scalp is screaming; 8 years without Sarah and her brood of Trig and Trog and Brig and Willow, and Todd and his new sidekick Levi, riding shotgun (ha! get it?), as they embark on their cross-country Zamboni races.

We're left with the boring dullness of the non-flashy, non-trashy Obamas and Bidens. At least we still have a financial meltdown to look forward to-- and that of course means more Barney Frank! So cheers to Barney, hoping he maintains the freakish colour we've come to expect from our elected officials!

RIFT BETWEEN DICK, BUSH, COLON AND BOWELL

Say t'aint so! A gaping rift between the Dick and Bush from the Colon Bowell?

Colin Powell has formally endorsed Democratic nominee Barack Obama this morning on "Meet the Press." Powell, of course, was part of the Bush administration as Secretary of State, and along with Condoleeza Rice, the saner half that contrasted with the overwhelming influence of VP Cheney, Secretary of Defence Rumsfeld and Deputy Secretary Wolfowitz, all of whom pushed for the war in Iraq.

Although Powell eventually fell in line with the administration, and even presented the "evidence" of Saddam's accruing Weapons of Mass Destruction at the UN, the Iraq War was not executed in a manner in line with the Powell doctrine, which dictates we should have broad international support, our objective and exit strategy should be clear, all other, non-violent options have been exhausted, and that the risks and costs have been fully outlined.

Although never publicly admitting it, several sources claim that Powell was enraged by the scant evidence he was asked to present, including the now-infamous "16 words" about Saddam attempting to accrue yellow cake from Niger. Even before the evidence was presented, it had been discredited, because the letterhead was from the office of an official out of Nigerian political life for 20 years.

As the war raged on, and Powell found his influence increasingly diminished, he resigned at the end of Bush's first term (he was most likely asked to do so), to be replaced by National Security Adviser Condoleeza Rice. It was only after the Democrats swept the Congressional and Senate elections in 2006 that Rumsfeld, as the scapegoat for the increasingly unpopular war, was forced to resign, allowing the saner, more diplomatic views of Powell, through Condi Rice, to be implemented, such as a bigger push for influence in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Now in public life, Powell is taking his first, tepid steps towards rebuking his former boss. His criticisms show the fracturing of the Republican party from the nutso, heavy-handed neocons, and the pragmatists, who evoke the Republicans of old, before the partisanship, before the "either with us or against us" of the Bush Doctrine, whether against other countries, or his own countrymen.

THE SHIT HITS

But don't bother calling Joe the Plumber because he's not even licensed.

Seems a tax analysis also reveals Joe would be available for a tax cut under Obama's plan.

Joe notes he wanted a straight answer from Obama, but got a tap dance instead --"almost as good as Sammy David Jr," he added.

Okay, so "spreading the wealth" is a euphemism for "you're going to pay taxes," so how is that tap-dancing? I guess they don't have an ear for nuance out there.

And what's wrong with "spreading the wealth"? Jesus Christ, I could hear everyone in the audience last night doing their own tap dance thinking of all that wealth being spread around. "Spread the wealth" is anathema to those rich bastard Republicans, though-- McCain paying to the base.

And why the hell should we feel bad about a plumber? Have you ever hired one? I'm so sorry Joe has to charge me $500 for my leaky faucet.

I thought McCain was overloading the tank with his Joe the Plumber crap last night, and now it looks like he even screwed the poor guy by bringing down the bright lights of investigative reporters to his door. Let's see what McCain and terrorist-pallin' Palin do next to try and flush away this latest load of shit.

IF YOU QUACK LIKE WHITE TRASH. . .

I know. I know it's obvious people feel this way but I'm 'Outraged!'.

Still, I do like to get other points of view. It's so refreshing to learn how the other half live. I just hope they're not a half + 1, if you know what I mean.

JOE THE PLUMBER

Joe the Plumber was probably fucking his receptionist in a trailer somewhere, completely unaware he was the obvious star of last night's debate. As the New York Times noted, McCain threw everything he could at Obama, including the kitchen sink and the plumber.

Joe the Plumber has a business worth more than a quarter of a million dollars a year, so I'm not sure I feel that bad. How many employees does he need? Someone to wipe, someone to flush?

Joe the Plumber will turn out all right-- but what about Rosie the Riveter? McCain made a very distinctive choice, when talking about Supreme Court Justices, to suggest he wouldn't have a litmus test, except that he would only appoint justices who agreed with McCain that Roe vs. Wade was a badly decided decision and should be overturned. Duh! Isn't that the supreme litmus test? Shout-out to the evangelicals!

MY FELLOW PRISONERS. . .

Below is an interview conducted after a McCain rally where audience member Gayle Quinnell (see above) called Barak Obama an Arab, not a good thing apparently. McCain countered, No, Obama is a 'decent family man'.

Interviewers include Noah Kunin, Senior Political Correspondent from The UpTake, Adam Aigner of NBC News and Dana Bash of CNN.:

Gayle Quinnell: I went to the library in Shakopee and I got lots of ... three pages of information about Obama

Adam Aigner of NBC News: And what kind of information did you get?

Quinnell: I got to tell you, you call me. It's a long story. I'm afraid of what's going to happen to this country.

Aigner: What would you think would happen? Do you think it would become Muslim country and what would that mean?

Quinnell: It would be bad

Aigner: So even though Senator McCain told you that he didn't feel that was true and you ought to be more respectful, you still fear that?

Quinnell: I still do. Yeah. I'm not alone. I go to Burnsville, the main Republican headquarters and I do a lot of work over there. A lot of sending out mail and talking to people. And all the people agree with what I'm saying to you about Obama.

Aigner :Then do you feel there are a lot of volunteers for McCain who feel that way?

Quinnell: Yes. A lot of them. In fact I got a letter from another woman that goes over there to Burnsville and she sent me more things about Obama.

Aigner: What was on the letter?

Quinnell: Oh all kinds of bad things about him and how, I mean I have to tell you to call me. It's all bad.

Reporter: Are a lot of people getting this letter and are a lot of people believeing it and is that turning a lot of votes or support for McCain?

Quinnell: Yeah I sent out 400 letters. I went to Kinkos and I got them all printed out. And I sent about 400 letters. I went in the telephone book and sent them out to people. So they can decide if they would want Obama.

Aigner: Can you give me your name again?

Quinnell: Gayle Quinnell and I honestly think that these people hear about this Obama, they wouldn't want him.

Aigner: Because they would know what you know in the letter?

Quinnell: Yeah, he read that letter. In fact when I was standing in line , there were about eight girls, young girls standing in line. And they said "what have you got." I had one of the letters and they said "Give it to me. I want to read it. I want to read it" And they read it. And they just went (shakes head) . They hadn't read it before and they didn't (unintelligible) all that information. To me it's bad news.

Aigner: So maybe if I call you you'll give me one of the letters maybe?

Quinnell: I sure can!

Aigner: You don't have another one on you now?

Quinnell: No I don't. But I can give you what I got and I can give you what she sent me in the mail.

Aigner: I'd be interested to read it.

Quinnell: OK

Aigner: And can you spell your name for me?

Quinnell: Q-U-I-N-N-E-L-L

Aigner: E-L-L? And Gayle is just...

Quinnell: G-A-Y-L-E

Aigner: And where you from?

Quinnell: I'm from Shakopee.

Aigner: Shakopee?

Quinnell: Shakopee, Minnesota

Aigner: And and I'm sorry how old are you ma'am?

Quinnell I'm 75

Aigner: 75?

Quinnell: (Nods yes) And I got a lot of grandkids and a lot of kids, I've got five kids. I got seven grandkids and they all think the same way.

(PHONE NUMBER EDITED OUT OF CONVERSATION)


Noah Kunin (The UpTake): Do you volunteer at the Republican Party Headquarters or the McCain Campaign office over in Burnsville?

Quinnell: McCain. McCain Headquarters in Burnsville.

Noah: The McCain headquarters.

Quinnell: It's out over by , over by that post station there.

Noah: Yeah, I know which one you're talking about. And just to be sure to make sure we got your quote OK, you called Obama an Arab terrorist?

Quinnell: Pardon?

Noah: You called him an Arab terrorist? Is that correct? Why do you think he is an Arab?

Quinnell Because his dad is. If you... I'll send you the paper.

Female reporter: His dad is Muslim His dad was Muslim. Barack Obama has never been a Muslim.

Quinnell: No but he's....

Dana Bash of CNN: He's a Christian.

Quinnell: He's not an Arab either, he's a --

Bash: His father was Muslim, and he's a Christian.

Quinnell: Yeah, but he's still got Muslim in him. So that's still part of him. I got all the stuff from the library and I could send you all kinds of stuff on him. In fact....

Bash: What did you think about McCain said. He said he's a decent person.

Quinnell: Well he did have didn't have (unintelligible)... I think McCain wanted to (unintelligible) I don't think he wanted to say anything against him. You know he didn't want to cut him down. That was my way of thinking. I don't think he wanted to cut him down. So he just kind of brushed me off.

Reporter: Plus he criticizes Barack Obama plenty himself, so why wouldn't he do it now?

Quinnell: Well I probably brought up something that he didn't want to talk about.

Reporter: Do you think John McCain thinks that he's Arab? Do you think he knows this stuff that you're saying you know is fact?

Quinnell: I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he doesn't want to bring it up then. I don't know why. Is there some way I can get to you more information.

Bash: Can you wait for me for like five more minutes?

Quinnell: Yeah.

Bash: I want to an interview on camera. Our camera team is occupied right now. What's your name?

Quinnell: Gayle Quinnell (Spells name again)

Bash: In case I lose you, you don't have a cell phone do you?

Quinnell: No I wish I had it on me but I don't.

Bash: See the pretty lady over there with red hair? That's our camera. As soon as she's done , we'll be over there Ok

Reporter: What was your reaction when Senator McCain backed away

Quinnell: What was my reaction? Well when he didn't want to talk about it...

Oh dear. You American bastards are in real trouble. Poor woman. Bad cell phone video below:

Thanks to Huffington Post

LAST DEBATE

Ok, put on your thinking caps, Americans, close your eyes and try to think hard about who the better candidate is. This is almost your last chance to figure it out, you crazy undecideds. Think to yourself: Who has the sexiest trajectory from microphone to mouth in the above photo. I think you know the answer. Do you want to have sex dreams about McCain for four years? Do the right thing. Vote with your loins. Not your racist hearts.

MORTAR & PESTER ME

I don't understand the point in acting psycho to get your point across about psychos. He has a point of course but Olbermann always comes off sounding like Al Pacino in 'Scent of A Woman' to me---overly overacting, as though he's mid-audition for a political pundit role in the new Law & Order. Generic parody. Again, it's this phony outrage; Olbermann was outraged at Bush, rightfully, but then was outraged at HRC too, because she mentioned Robert Kennedy's assassination. Does he understand politics at all? Being outraged at Bush is one thing, but did Hillary deserve the same histrionics? Just gnash your teeth and grind everything together into a uniform meaninglessness. There should be degrees of outrage. Hearing those 'psychos' scream racist crapola is not shocking. It's grist for the mill. Open your eyes.

COLD BLONDE CHILL

ADORABLE!

Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad Against McCain

RUN FOR YOUR USELESS LIVES

Did somebody just yell 'Terrorist' after McCain asks who the real Barack Obama is? I saw his face sort of fall there for a second. Or not fall but turn wry. He heard it. He knows how distasteful this has all become and what he's become, namely, an old, [sorry but his old-ness seems inescapable at this point; his face seems more and more like paper everyday] shapeless, haphazard Rove/Bush sequel or spin-off. I think so. I see flashes of unease, disappointment when he looks at Palin, just a general undercurrent of self-hatred. I feel it. I know it. If you think you hate yourself during that job interview where your sycophantic, dripping whore-ass is extolling all your fake virtues for a job you don't want and where if there were a butcher knife gleaming in the fluorescent on the conference table between you and the interviewer and her list of questions and a copy of your resume that she hasn't read and your empty folder you keep in front of you to look like there may be some forthcoming documents that would prove said virtues, and where you'd want to grab that knife and plunge it into your chest just to regain some kind of quiet dignity, just imagine how McCain feels right about now. The longest job interview in the world. Quiet dignity. He was said to have it when his father the Admiral pushed to get him out of that POW camp and McCain was said to have refused it because there were others there before him and they deserved to be released first---imagine that! Well, that's all over. It's the end of that kind of dignity. Or any dignity. I just realized that. How startling that is. Shame, humiliation, dignity; it's all over for us.

On Monday, McCain rolled out a new TV ad, "Dangerous," that accuses Obama of being "dishonorable." "Who is Barack Obama?" a narrator ominously asks. "He says our troops in Afghanistan are 'just air-raiding villages and killing civilians.' How dishonorable. Of course what Obama meant was that an over-reliance on air strikes -- due in part to a shortage of ground troops -- is causing a tragic and strategically counterproductive level of civilian casualties."


Just end this already. End the pain.

Thanks to Salon for quote.

TAKE IT OFF!

Here's the cover of Alaska magazine, which presumably even Sarah Palin reads. But when asked by Katie Couric, Sarah couldn't name a single publication she reads to stay abreast of current affairs.

Maybe it's true, like the guys on MSNBC have been trumpeting, that the McCain campaign is all about distraction. So while everyone was gasping and guffawing over Sarah Palin's performance in her interview with Couric, which made it to Saturday Night Live, the real comedy show-- of McCain, within the span of a few days, pronouncing the economy sound, then unsound; of being against regulations, then for them-- was totally ignored. Why wasn't it fodder for late night?

McCain's latest embarrassment, suspending his campaign to pass an emergency economic bill-- but not getting it passed, and resuming his non-suspended campaign-- has not gone unnoticed by the pundits. Uh-oh, time for distraction. What will they have Sarah do next? I'm thinking she'll arrive onstage for Thursday night's debate sliding down a stripper pole. Oh that Sarah, she's just like the rest of us!