Showing posts with label Al Gore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Al Gore. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

BIG WHOOP-'BAMA

As noted earlier, Tuesday night certainly wasn't exciting or nail-biting or creating any sort of queasy stomachs/rumbling bowels/hair pulling/face clawing impulses-- state by state, Barack racked up what he needed to win, and it was pretty clear by the time Pennsylvania was added to his column that the election was over. I even started a post on Peep Hole calling the election, but I didn't want to jinx it.

When California closed the polls and the election was called immediately, I didn't feel anything I thought I would-- I didn't cry, scream, jump in the air, hug the person next to me. At some point in the evening a full glass of wine slipped out of my hand and spilled on the carpet and floor and wall and down the hall, but I think that was nature's way of saying, "okay, you've had enough."

When I went out later to walk the dogs, I heard the people screaming in the street, saw the helicopters hovering above with their high-powered light beams trained into the crowd, was passed by goddam jamborees of bicycle riders whistling their fool heads off, but all I felt was the natural feeling-- "get away from my dogs, you drunken louts." It's always fun navigating a pitbull and a chihuahua-pug (chipugua to you) through a throng of shrieking, stumbling girls.

Maybe I felt nothing because, as my Peep Hole partner often reminds, me, I'm not a flesh-and-blood person. Yes, that's true, but I really did feel something 8 years ago, during the Bush-Gore election. Or maybe it was the company, or just the circumstances? While I was cooking dinner, the convection oven caught on fire, and I was out in the hall with the roof door open trying to fan out the smoke when a big whoop! came from the living room. When I finally got back to the tv, I was told Gore had just won Florida. Holy crap, the night was over and we hadn't even eaten dinner. Now that was exciting, and the rest of the evening, and then month, there was nailbiting, hair-pulling dread.

I guess it's the prospect of losing, especially when you know your candidate is so far superior to the other. It drove me crazy when people, even the media, noted there was little difference between Bush and Gore; that people bought Bushes' compassionate Conservative crap, even though as Governor in Texas, he was rated last or next to last of all 50 states in child care, people with insurance, health care, education-- does anyone doubt there were differences now?

It just seemed, this time, the wind was at the Democrats back. Polls can be wrong, and I knew too many people who knew somebody who was otherwise reasonable, but refused to vote for a Black man. Or thought the Democrats were socialists-- as though the recent bailout, supported by Bush and McCain, wasn't the biggest socialist program since Medicare in the 60's. Would reason finally prevail?

And when reason finally prevails, is it really something to celebrate about, especially when you're celebrating that the American people aren't idiots? No big whoop. Of course they're not-- at least not this time.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

RECOUNT

Anyone see "Recount?" Shit, those were the good old days, when the worst your president would do is something you dream about all day long. Yeah, that's right, I know you wanna stick your cigar up some pussy, just own that shit. Now the bar's been raised and now you gotta go out and murder thousands of innocent people if you want to keep up. Shit, times really are tough.

Okay, so the movie was boring as shit, although factually accurate, except Laura Dern wasn't wearing enough fucking Mary Kay. I wouldn't be surprised if Katherine Haggis had her own little pink Mary Kay car to cruise around in. She didn't get to be Governor, but she always got a foot in the door at MK.com

Yeah, those were the days. Remember the dangling chad dress? A fucking sensation. Or it would have been, if I ever made it. The whole thing was over before I could get a patent. But shit, they never got those machines fixed in Florida so I guess there's time before November. Yeah, I'll get right on it.

Remember people didn't give a shit who won, because they said the candidates were basically the same? Oh, ha hahaha hahaha hahahahh HAHAHAHAH!! Yeah, I'm sure if Bush had lost, he would have won an Oscar and a Noble Peace Prize for his humanitarian work. Although Bush leaving the White House and never ever again working for the "public good" would be the greatest humanitarian achievement of the 21st Century.

On the plus side of Gore losing, Joe Losermann would have been a viable presidential candidate. We can thank the Supreme Court for that, at least.