Showing posts with label the hills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the hills. Show all posts

Friday, October 24, 2008

GREEN DUCK BILLS



Hard to see it all-- but he's got a gun, is drinking a Bud, and his shirt says "Palin for VP : guns, god, and glory". Her shirt says, "Read my lipstick, vote McCain-Palin." Her shoes say, "tip me over and fuck me!"

I saw some McCain supporters across from the Port Authority in Midtown New York the other night at around 7:30. The location seemed perfect-- they were trying to hit the silver-haired set out for their Broadways shows, then they simply had to cross the street for their bus back to Red Neck, New Jersey or Older White Plains, New York. They looked as you'd imagine-- middle-aged women done up like newscasters with their blond bubble hairdos and too much makeup, and young Asian students with snarky faces. There were about 10 of then, which should correspond to the vote tally for McCain-Palin in NYC.

And look at those two up there. Coupl'a grossos from "The Hills." Look how posed he is, holding that beer like a straight guy holding another guy's dick. "Oh, this is-- new." Holding the book like he's Versace holding his fan. Look at her-- you might think she's puckering, but that's her new face. It's the latest surgery, a duck bill added to her equine jaw.

So natural, so in love, so caught off guard! New Republicans, this is your new look-- strike a pose, do everything to pretend you actually like yourself and like your life and like your candidates. Everyone fall in line!

Photo: Pacifac Coast News


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

THE HEELS

This is Heidi Montag from "The Heels," I mean "The Hills." I know this is instinctual information for many, but there are some of us who aren't that interested in the lives of the young, rich, and horsey-faced.

Those aren't "fuck-me" heels-- they're "spike my drink with GBH, drag me, passed out, through the club, abduct me to some skanky suburban basement, and keep me in a dungeon" heels. Yes, she's that easy.

Friday, August 15, 2008

SMELLY

What's that smell?

You know I really don't want to be one of those evil bloggers that say things like this because I'm no beauty queen [!!], but my Lordy there is Something About Eva that makes me wanna barf. She looks like she smells.

There are other smelly beauties in Hollywood, for sure---Cameron Diaz, Katherine Heigl, Lindsay Lohan, Julia Roberts, all the girls from The Hills [but mostly that's eau de slut], and even Charlize Theron, Amazon perfect blonde, smells sometimes. But Eva is special. I have a special little place in my nose just for her.

For Eva, makeup is actually a team of microscopic [with minerals!] photoshopping men sitting on her face torturous-ly touching her up as she just goes about her desperate day. Except for in the picture above, that was probably taken during the Makeup Artists' strike. Those guys are not paid enough.


photo courtesy Usmagazine