HOLY SQUARED

Last night I turned to CNN by accident, (I don't watch CNN now that Hillary's out of the race and there's nothing to talk about anymore) and what should I see??? A freakin' panel discussion with all their consistently inexpert experts talking about the new New Yorker cover!! Whaaa?? I'm glad The New Yorker is momentarily relevant again and people are talking about it, but really!

Clearly they have lost their minds. There is so much real news and they're talking about satire, arguing about what satire is like a bunch of first years! Do pundits really understand what satire is? Unless Oscar Wilde and Noel Coward can be reached by satellite I don't see the point.

What about the placenta? Who cut the umbilical cord? Was Brad there for the entire birth? Yes, he was. Angie was on an epidural so was awake during her C-section and Brad talked her through the whole holy blessed event. Did you know Angie's Ob-Gyn called Bradley his 'little helper'? Was Maddox filming it? That savvy little devil. Did Zahara scowl jealously into Angie's vagina? Don't worry, Zee, Mommy and Daddy are already wait-listed for a new African baby to even up the colour scheme.

Knox Leon Jolie-Pitt and Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt were born Saturday July 12 at around 7pm. Knox came in at 5.03lbs and Vivvie at 5lbs. If you sense a sarcastic tone to this I'm sorry---I cried a little happy tear when I heard, I have so much invested in it, more than if I had a child myself. Who cares about my ugly kids, all misshapen and plain and unimportant. The angels have landed, the messiah has come---somebody tell the Jews to stop reading!

CNN, get a clue for shitsakes.

photo courtesy: celebrityfix.com