BAD MONEY

If you saw "Dark Knight" you know this is not a pile of money, and if you're not living with Bin Laden in a cave somewhere you know the Batman movie makes this much money per second. Did Katie Holmes pull out of the comic book sequel to make this movie? It was called "Mad Money" in case you blinked, or you're not a middle-aged single gal who was so desperate for the "Sex in the City" movie you saw any movie that had more than one chick in the credits.

Okay, we know the reason-- Katie's only allowed to love one man who secretly wears a leather codpiece, and she can't make more money or be more successful than l'il hubbie. But Jesus Christ.

Now, I'm not one of those people who slags Katie because she's been chained to the stove by her midget-impresario-with-a-moptop, but whatever the reason, I'm glad she pulled out. Maggie Gyllenhaal-- now there's a bitch can go toe-to-toe with Batbutch. Whether she's striding in and out of the courtroom, the interrogation room, staring down the Joker or watching the clock tick down strapped to 100s of barrels of flammable oil, bitch got presence. She's no little girl. In "Batman Begins," Katie looked like she stumbled into the courtroom during "bring your daughter to work" day.

Oh yeah, Heath is good too. But you knew that already.

Photo Courtesy Big City Pictures

BATBROAD

Katie Holmes was "unable to reprise her part" of BM's girlfriend in the Batman sequel The Dark Knight. "Unable," code for "Tom won't be compared to anyone wearing a black leather codpiece. And bat-nipples." Just to be careful, Tommy-Love is stashing his latex jockstraps in the safe.

Maggie Gyllenhaal was chosen instead. Apparently there were rumours Maggie had made "unkind remarks about Holmes' performance."

Gyllenhaal denies the remarks, but thought she should get Holmes' blessing anyway, by email-- then decided, having such kind thoughts about Katie's acting, that he would have to make the character "a whole new woman." Hmm, a woman who can act better? You can read the full story here.

I don't want to get on the "bash Katie Holmes" bandwagon. Jesus Christ, the girl's made a pact with the she-devil, give her a break. But she did look like "I'm a big girl now!" in her role as the assistant district attorney. Maggie looks like someone who's actually been around-- you know, had a real baby, has a real husband, isn't shoved in a cryogenic tube when she gets home.

Besides, the producers would either have to spend a fortune on hair extensions for Katie, or otherwise explain her else hairstyle-- is she now a villainess? "Cleopatra Cruise" or "The Flapper!"

Photo courtesy Warner Brothers