DON'T TELL ME HOW TO BE

What is it with Gwyneth Paltrow? When she was going out with Brad Pitt she looked so scared and deer-headlight-like, pushed around by the press. She was cute then. Now look at her in the Tod's ad above. I just wanna kill her.

Well she has a new website called, Goop, where she enlightens us with such useful advice/affirmations, such as:

"Make your life good. Invest in what's real. Cook a meal for someone you love. Pause before reacting. Clean out your space. Read something beautiful. Treat yourself to something. Go to a city you've never been to. Learn something new. Don't be lazy. Workout and stick with it. GOOP. Make it great."

As usual, wealthy stars have no idea what its like for people like me. The website launches Thursday. I'll wait till then to not be lazy and not want to die. She doesn't mention dying, but I presume dying is not part of her lifestyle. Goop this.