I've been obsessed with Alanis Morissette since I saw the video for "Never Too Hot!" on MuchMusic back in the early 90's. What was it about Alanis that struck a chord? Maybe because she looked like the girl at school who looked like she should've been in secretarial school? (Maybe I should've, too?) The girl who crawled up my leg at a Classics Department Association party (Hey! I was lonely!) saying, "I'd really love to give you a blow job." Wait, maybe it was Alanis! She famously went down on her mystery paramour in a theatre-- so fancy, the way she sang "theatre" -- "thee-a-tar" --evoking Shakespeare's Globe Theatre, but since it was LA, I always imagine it was Grauman's Chinese.
Well, maybe Alanis should've made like Carly Simon, never revealing the identity of the man behind her most famous song. Then again, we all know (or at least think we know) that "You're So Vain" is either about Mick Jagger or Warren Beatty, who are still cooler than the man behind "You Ought'a Know," which has been revealed, and the world has sighed a collective "who?" --to learn it's Dave Coulier, one of the other guys who was not John Stamos or Bob Sagat or one of the Olsen Twins on "Full House."
Such strum and drang over a guy who looks like Jeff Daniels? Whose features seem to have shrunk into the middle of his face? Well, I guess even secretaries have dreams, as limited as they are.
Photo: Us Magazine
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