Okay, so this is an old movie, but what the fuck can I say? My husband chains me to the stove and I don't get out much. So I watched it on the dvd machine. Anyway, people apparently loved this shit. Directed by Sarah Polley, little Miss Indie Queen. She's so anti-Hollywood she removes silicon from her boobs and recycles it. She keeps pulling on her face to get wrinkles. So it makes sense her directorial debut is about Oldtimerz' disease. But if she's so goddamn indie, why did she make a Lifetime Channel movie?
They better not show this on Lifetime, because the demographic for that shit is 40 but look worse than Julie Christie in her 60's. They're like, "Shit, I want Oldtimerz'! I want to look beautiful and be able to get the fuck away from my husband too!"
If you've ever known anyone with Oldtimerz, ever seen anyone with Oldtimerz, you know it's not pretty. And that's all this movie is-- pretty pretty. Julie Christie looking into the distance with that giant silver head of hair, wearing giant cowlneck sweaters where the cowl is a fucking sweater of itself. The only real moment was her comment about the "ugly baby" --but she wouldn't have whispered it, she should have shouted in the baby's face. Now that's the Oldtimerz' I know.
Boring movie. So tasteful, so restrained. The Academy should give Sarah Polley a Lifetime Achievement Award and retire her before she creates again.
Photos by Michael Gibson, courtesy of Lionsgate.
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