TAWNY LEGGINGS

I overheard two girls the other day actually talking about leggings. "If they have no feet,"one girl said, "they're called leggings." She was wearing leggings that made her look like a tattooed lady. It was hard not to notice.

It is the hallmark of a courteous society, that when you meet a friend and can't help staring at some crazy shit she's wearing, her ridiculous new hairstyle or her badly-tinted face, and the friend sees that you're staring, you must offer a compliment. "Oh, I love that shade of fuchsia on you! It really brings out the pink in your eyes! I mean, no one pays attention to that stupid "what's your season" stuff anymore; today's Albino is breaking all the rules!"

We all know Lindsay Lohan has her own line of leggings, so when we see her at the opening of Madonna's new movie, we say, "yo, Lo!" (We know how the kids today like to 'rap.') "Yo, those new leggings are fly! Freckled orange-tinted tawny is like the new-nude, beyotch!"

Photo: Wenn