THE COLOR OF GREEN

Color it green, Asshole got a cabbage leaf on his head.

Picture Source: Pacific Coast News

BABY WIPES

Star Magazine reports Zac Efron hates showering.

"Zac isn't a big fan of showering. It's so gross, because Zac loves to work out and plays basketball all the time — and then goes days without showering. When he gets lazy, he likes to clean himself with baby wipes!"

Shit, that's one big baby wipe he's holding. More like a Nikki Blonsky baby wipe.

James Dean didn't shower either. If Zac died now, would "American Musical 2" become the "Rebel Without a Cause" for our generation?

Don't worry girls, I'm sure he wears dress sheilds-- and you should too! It's okay if you don't, though-- just don't expect to ever be asked out by a boy. Ever. Really. They're more important than every maxi, mini, smooth plastic applicator and wad of toilet tissue you ever flushed out into the ocean.

Photo Credit: Fame

ANGIE DARK

Mocha eyes, mocha nips. We know Angie's in Europe 'cause the coffee's showing through her peep holes. Ain't no fra-crapuccino, turbinado sugar, extra-light soy milk in either pair of baby browns-- but maybe just a touch of foam.

LOVE, SYDNEY

Okay, so you loved him in Tootsie, Michael Clayton, and "Will & Grace," for Christ's sake. But we loved him in "Husbands and Wives"-- a movie proving that, even when he's dispensing with a Cocktail Waitress, he's still a class act. Remember that, George Clooney.

(Image courtesy Screenrush)

BECAUSE HE SAID SO!

Al Pacino, Diane Keaton, Robert De Niro and Robert Redford are "parodies," according to Rupert Everett.

Did he mention they were working parodies? And maybe he was thinking of Jack Nicolson and Dennis Hopper?

Okay, so we agree about Diane Keaton-- we love her, but she needs a director in fucking chaps and riding boots to whip the bitch into shape. You know those lazy asses just point the camera at her and say "Go! You know-- do your thing!" Like they do with fucking Vince Vaughn. Except Annie Hall showed she's got the fucking chops. You know Vince pops 3 Ritalins and a mickey of scotch whenever he hears "action!"

ANGIE BLACK

Girls do evil shit to themselves all the time, and Angie's out there to say it's all right. I guess it helps she's beautiful!

Entertainment Weekly: Some people can't reconcile your old persona, where you talked about knives and cutting, with your more recent identity as a mother and activist.

Angie: But again, it's not that different. The reason I talked about going through certain pains or even cutting myself is that I was already out the other side. I knew there were people that do that — and somehow are happy that somebody admitted they did and discussed how they got out of it. I don't see the point of doing an interview unless you're going to share the things you learn in life and the mistakes you make. So to admit that I'm extremely human and have done some dark things, I don't think makes me unusual or unusually dark. I think it actually is the right thing to do and I'd like to think it's the nice thing to do.

[Image by VINCENT PETERS.]

PC GONE TOO FAR

Sarah Larson: “They say that I’m a stripper. There’s a ton of stuff about that. I’ve never been a stripper. You know, just because I’m from Las Vegas, I must be a stripper. Because I’m a cocktail server, that means I’m an escort.”

Cocktail Server? Why not Imbibing Enhancer? Libation Dispensor? Social Lubricationist? You're a Cocktail Waitress bitch, own it!

BEA THE ONE

Much to attribute to our great Bea Arthur, now 85 and still killing. Tranny, Goddess, Not Your Fucking Grandma-- bow down, little ones, to the restorative power of cheesecake.

IT'S HILLARY, STUPID

Great article in yesterday's NY Times by economist Paul Krugman. The economy will hopefully be the big topic at tonight's debate in South Carolina, and hopefully Obama will be called to task for a policy more in line with Bush's than any other Democrat.

TOO CLOSE TO CALL--

--and too far from home to call for their blankies. Obama supporters need a hug Tuesday night in New Hampshire.

STARS ARE JUST LIKE US

They hate themselves, they waste thousands of dollars on vacuous distraction, they need to be taken out of their dreadful lives!

They cut themselves with cheap whores, beat each other bloody, and smoke crack in the can!

They do coke, slit their wrists, and wait for their friends to find them!

LIBBY COMMUTED

Not only did he suffer the indignity of being Cheney's scapegoat, now Scooter has to take public transportation to jail?