That's not to say I don't have a discriminating ear when it comes to particularly offensive Christmas offerings, like goddam "River" as sung by her Blobbiness, Sarah McLachlan. I've never particularly loved "River" like some people do, but that doesn't mean Ms. Butterface should be allowed to defile yet another Joni Mitchell song. Yeah, that's right-- she sang "Blue" a few years ago on a collection titled "Washed out Bitches Defile Her Holiness" or something like that.
Where does Biscuit-Head get off? For those of you who don't understand what I mean, look forward to my upcoming post called "I HATE SARAH MCLACHLAN" to understand why you, too, should spontaneously shit whenever you hear those aching little "unhs" she ejaculates into every song. Okay, I know every stupid singer does that, but it makes sense coming out of Enrique Iglesias' mouth, a reminder that yes, he's fucking some skanky groupie right now in the recording booth. Sarah's "unhs," however, remind us she just pooped another scone on the studio floor and some bitch better clean it up, now.
Below is yet another Doughface X-mas classic, a song given away as a single of the week on ITunes last year. Yeah, I downloaded it-- everyone needs an enema once in a while, right? Jesus Christ, listen to her version of "Silent Night." What about "silent" does she not understand? Shit, there's so much tinkling and twoodling and overdubbing and stupid children sighing, if that were my Christmas night, I'd be banging my broom on the ceiling, shouting at the neighbours to shut the hell up.
