HAIRSPRAIN

It took an unusually long time to download that file-- I guess she's even bigger than I thought. Oh, that's mean!

Nikki Blonsky is talking about her airport girl-fight, saying she and her father are "completely destroyed" by the incident. The hardest part is to see her parents "walk around in severe upset and sadness." Well, Jesus Christ, at least they can walk. The other bitches' mom was airlifted out of the place. Lucky they were in an airport.

There's a theatre service in New York where you can get free tickets to concerts and plays when, um, not enough people want to actually pay to see the show. For Nikki Blonsky's recent cabaret show, there were free tickets available every night. I should have gone. One thing that makes a songstress so effective, so heavy with emotion, is the pain they've experienced in their life.

How lucky for Ms. B. that at such a young age she has experienced, in one simple layover, enough life experience to leave her "completely destroyed," to see her family, similarly, reduced to "severe upset and sadness." Oh, to hear classics of the American songbook such as "You Can't Stop the Beat" or "Mama, I'm a Big Girl Now" imbued with such longing, such gravitas, such pathos. I'd pay to see that shit!

Photo: Brad Barket/ Getty