Brad Pitt's 'private' photos of Angelina after the birth of their twins featured in the new 'W' Magazine.Well, I am so bummed. I was hired as a wet nurse to the most famous parents in the world-- no, wait, as a wet nurse of the children of the most famous parents in the world. I get to travel to Germany and France and Manhattan, walk down windy cobblestoned lanes, pluck flowers from the trees and put them in my hair, make big vagina-lip faces and does Brad ever take a picture of me? No, never.
I flash my boobs whenever he walks by with his Nikon and nothing. But I understand it now. Not only are my boobs stand-ins, I am a stand-in as well, I am the one who creates the subject for Brad Pitt, that photographic genius. He says, "subjects just present themselves to me all the time." Yeah, me, me! I should be the model. So what if I'm ugly? I got boobs big enough to feed all the children of Zamboobia. They need me.
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